Ever get one of those colds that isn't a cold? Where you're stuffed up, nose dripping like PageSkyMeister's infected wang, feel like shit, but not coughing or puking? That's what I got. Had it for three fucking weeks. But it's not really enough to be called a cold. It's really gettin' on my nerves. Hacking up lung butter, blowing snot rockets, and I still have to crawl my fat ass out of bed at 6:00 A.M.

See, I work out in the great wide open. I'm in the heat, the rain, the dog shit, the skeeters, every fuckin' thing. Every morning I get up, feeling like shit, but not sick enough to stay home. It's like a hangover after a good night's sleep. You know it ain't bad enough to call out, but your whole day is gonna suck anyway. The boss is gonna yell at you, your co-workers are gonna be pissed, and you aren't gonna get SHIT accomplished. The whole day is fucked, because you just can't get sick enough to call out.

Now, I know it's kind of a catch-22. Nobody really wants to be that sick, but who wants to drag around shitloads of snot goblins and explosive diarrhea? I'd rather just go on and get it over with, instead of walking around like that Hobbit from Austalia - all tired and decrepit, trying to get his cock ring back to Mount Masturbate. Who wants to be a kangaroo jockey, anyway?

In closing ('cause I need to go shit), half-assing anything never does any good. Whether it's a rant site that's only stupid jokes and inane pre-adolescent babble you have to scroll for hours to get through or a fucking cold, put some effort into it and do it right. Or just don't bother anyone with your bitching, fucknuts.

Damn it, it's prarie doggin', and I still have to go to work tomorrow. Not having a cold sucks.