Falcons/Panthers - Falcons 20, Media 0
(Term key at bottom for those unfamiliar with American Football)

 

It's football season again, and the sports media is as wrong and biased as they have ever been. Everyone heard the way they twisted Rush Limbaugh's comments about the slightly mediocre Donovan McNobody, turning a racial comment into a racist diatribe. No one in the mainstream media wants to call sports journalists on the carpet, but the Incredible Bob was born to do just that.

The friday night before the Falcons/Panthers game, ESPN had one of their round-table discussions (T.O.fest) on the weekend's games. Each broadcaster had a turn during each game preview, giving his pick to win the game and who the playmakers would be on each side of the ball. NO ONE had any love for the ATL. It made me so angry I literaly tore thru my clothes and turned green. That may have been from the mexican food I was eating, but I prefer to believe it was the anger. I then proceeded to smash a toilet stall. From the rage, not the explosive diarrhea.

One after another, these "centered journalists" called the game for Carolina going away. Deshaun Foster was going to run through Atlanta's week linebackers. Jake Delhomme would tear through an Atlanta secondary that gave up more long pass plays than any team in the league last year. Julius Peppers would harrass Micheal Vick and Warrick Dunn all day. Without Duckett to drive the ball in, Atlanta would have a hard time putting points on the board. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. The pre-game show was all the same.

Here's where it breaks down for a bunch of snobby know-it-alls who actually don't pay attention. Atlanta made several key acquisitions and changes in the off-season. Obviously none of this got through to the sports media who reported it, because they discounted all these changes during their "predictions". Jim Mora's Falcons acquired DE John Abraham, SS Lawyer Milloy, DT Grady Jackson, WS Chris Crocker, and T Wayne Gandy. They also decided to replace RB T.J. Duckett (we still love you Hammer) with rookie RB Jerious Norwood, one of the fastest players to attend the combine. The most major change was the coaching staff's (and Vick's) decision to let Mike Vick be Mike Vick. All this activity, and no one saw it coming.

Atlanta's weak linebackers held Foster to only 57 yds. rushing, and the entire team to only 65. He never got through Atlanta's front four, and when he did Keith Brooking wrapped him up. Warrick Dunn by comparison had 132 yds. rushing, with Norwood (looking good in # 32) and Vick boosting overall rushing to 252 yds. And Vick's passing added 133 more yards, with two TDs and 0 interceptions. Carolina didn't even convert on third down until the fourth quarter. During one play, Vick made every player on the Panther's defense miss him before throwing a nine yard strike to Dunn for a first down! And no one even gave Atlanta a chance in this game. Carolina was supposed to run through Atlanta on their way to the Super Bowl.

On offense, Carolina couldn't get anywhere without Steve Smith. One of the media's main criticisms of the Falcons is they're one dimensional - no Vick, no win. But how much of this same rhetoric will be heaped upon Carolina's shoulders? I bet none. Even with Smith, the Panthers still couldn't get past John Abraham. It's like Atlanta signed the Ultimate Warrior, as hard and fast as we was hitting people. He was everywhere at once. You could almost imagine him putting Delhomme in the "gorilla press slam". A QB can't hit even the best receiver in the league if he's flat on his back.

After the game, only a few pundits ate any crow and owned up to how wrong they were. Most pretended the pre-game never happened. Before the game Vick was "ineffective" at passing, and would not be able to move past a swarming Carolina D. Post-game, he was "invincible" and his 12 yd. TD pass to Michael Jenkins was the "play of the day". Two Falcons (Abraham, Dunn) were noninated for NBC's "Player of the Week". Once again, ATL was shown no love as McNothing and the Philadelphia SaladTossers won that one after beating up the Houston Texans. The Houston Texans! If McNothing had thrown 3 TD's against a real opponent such as Seattle or Tampa Bay, maybe it would be worth giving him the award. Even Houston got him for one pick, which should have ruled him out by default.

Sports media, actually look at a team's structure and players before shooting your mouths off. You can't just say "Well, they won last year. This year will be no different". This year is different, though. Atlanta added new strength to the team while Carolina sat on what they had. Your predictions were only slightly less stupid than the Ultimate Warrior's ramblings upon returning to WCW in the late '90s, and slightly more cognitive than Al Gore's babbling about global warming. Much like any team that thinks Atlanta will be an easy win, you need to get your heads out of the sand.

 

 

Glossary for those unfamiliar with American Football

QB - quarterback, team leader who throws the ball
RB - running back, runs with football and sometimes catches pass
DT - defensive tackle, stops running game
DE - defensive end, kills quarterbacks
SS,WS - safeties, strong side and weak side, last defenders on play
T - tackle, protects quarterback, opens hole in D-line for runners
D-Line,Front Four - the defenders lined up closest to the ball, consisting of DE' and DT's
McNobody - Donovan McNabb, over-rated QB for Philadelphia team
T.O. Fest - sports-cast with excessive coverage on Terrel Owens, which most are
Mexican Food - diarrhea fuel
#32 - jersey number of Atlanta running great Jamal Anderson
TD - touchdown, score created by running or throwing ball in opponent's end zone
End Zone - come on, you have to know this one
Convert Third Down - earn a new set of four downs by moving the ball to a specific marker on the field
Down - try, attempt, you really should have figured this one out
Ultimate Warrior - greatest wrestler EVER
NBC - Nothing But Commercials broadcasting network
Pick, Interception - wrong fuckers catch the ball
WCW - World Championship Wrestling, ruined by Eric Bischoff and Hulk Hogan
Al Gore - former U.S. Senator, inventer of the internet, overall dumbass

 

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