Anyone who reads The Breast Page In The Universe knows how he feels about the Columbus, GA little league team. As a willing sucubus to the all powerful wizard of Nonz, I feel kind of the same way. That doesn't explain me watching it on TV, but I just felt something was gonna happen.

At the bottom of the first inning, Japan took the plate. ESPN had been showing all these blurbs and graphics about who the little fuckers' favorite players were. So here's a Japanese kid, and the graphic comes up: favorite player - Ichiro whatever-the-fuck-his-name-is. Well no fuckin' duh! Of course his favorite player is the most successful Japanese player in MLB. Either that or ESPN thinks we're too lame-brained and narrow-minded to tell us his real favorite. So either they short changed a little kid, or didn't really ask at all. Either way it boils down to ESPN thinking we don't know any better.

And TIME magazine in all it's opulence and haughtiness actually published a study about men and women being ... different. "Hold the presses! This study proves men and women aren't the same!" Holy bat-shit, Robin! It was the fucking cover! Spend millions of dollars, thousands of man-hours of research, and conclude men piss standing up and women do it sitting down. Everything you've ever seen about your mom and dad's differences was not true until TIME told you it was. Give me a fuckin' break. Last time I saw a woman with a cock was on Nonz's laptop. And that was probably a dude.

You know somewhwere, some lib read that and said "Hmm, we really are different. What the fuck have I been doing for 30 years? Butt-ugly life partner - GET THE FUCK OUT!" Sick.

And now the most recent revelation that boys learn more from men, and girls learn more from women. I don't know about you, but I never asked my mom to show me how to put in a tampon. And my dad didn't teach my sister how to fight. What kind of ridiculous shit is this? Once again, go back to the part about pissing. Hell, the next study will tell us whites like hangin' with whites, and blacks like hangin' with blacks. There's no major social or racial implications to it either. It's just being familiar with people like you. You don't see libs lining up to attend the republican fundraising luncheon, do ya? Conservatives ain't touring abortion clinics, either.

I got a study for you - new Metallica albums suck. If I hadn't told you, you wouldn't know.