Anyone who peruses rant sites knows who the grand-daddy of all ranters is; Maddox, of course. Most rant sites with the exception of a scant few are direct clones of "The Best Page In The Universe". Many of the ones who aren't are still based on his design, with minor changes. This site was never, nor will ever be a Maddox styled site.

Let me explain. I have been ranting and raving about everything form "Hooked On Phonics" to "Barney" and politics since well before the internet got as popular as it is. So the automatic assumption I am doing this because of Maddox is wrong from the start. I never wrote down my opinions and general gripes before 2002, and then they were in a notebook I promptly lost. One was "Bush Knew About 9/11: So Fucking What?". I may redo that one.

Actually, one of the first (and funniest) rant sites I read was my bass player's "The Breast Page In The Universe". Before then I never knew people were putting pages like this together, as I spend most of my time on the internet downloading music and searching for porn. Of course I knew about the blogosphere, but I never got interested in blogs due to the overtly political and conspiratory nature most of them hold. Nonzarelli's site gave me an idea; instead of yelling my ideas and complaints about life in general at the checkout girl at Wal-Mart, I should post them on the internet where tens of people will view them and have their lives forever changed.

As I began looking at sites for ideas on how to construct mine, I began to notice how many were completely un-original. The writing was good, but they all looked like Maddox. Even John Heder's uglier twin, D. Nonzarelli, based his design on Maddox. For shame. So I decided right then and there to do something different, as you can see. I put together graphics to keep my site from looking generic, and use a different navigation structure. And it all started with the name.

Bob Smash is not my screen name. It's a phrase. As in "Hulk Smash!", from the '70s and '80s era version of The Incredible Hulk comic. If you couldn't tell yet I'm a huge fan of the Hulk, go play in traffic until you figure it out. One night a former band mate of mine and I were strumming our guitars quietly around 2 a.m., and my room-mate decided he had to have a glass of tea. As there was no tea made, he tried to force me to make some. At 2 a.m. Being the badass I am, I refused. He decided that was more than he could stand, told me to fuck myself, and threw a glass of water in my face. That was more than I could stand. As my friend later told me, I essentially "hulked" out on the dude, and kicked his fucking ass. After telling me about "hulking-out", my friend proceeded to start saying "Bob Smash!" every time I got angry. This was very successful in preventing other ass-beatings due to the fact I busted out laughing when he said it.

Now that you understand my desire to not be Maddox and the steps I have taken to avoid that fate, I have decided to create a Maddox-styled version of my page for all of you who think only a Maddox page will do. From the graphics to the posts, it's all a rip off. If you enjoy it, you're a douche.

The Best Smash In The Universe